


stop making a sound when you talk

by ralphstatortots



Category: Video Blogging RPF, Youtube RPF
Genre: Blow Jobs, M/M, Strap-Ons, Trans Male Character, inabber got the strap, let trans men top u cowards!!!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-02
Updated: 2019-06-02
Packaged: 2020-04-06 14:50:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19064851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ralphstatortots/pseuds/ralphstatortots
Summary: “I want to talk about something but–” Fraser sucks in a breath, “But I don’t know how you would feel?”James considers it being like one of the conversations they’ve had before, where Fraser asks and James answers. But the look on his face tells a different story, hesitant and nervous as he fiddles with his own fingers.“Yeah?” James mumbles, earning a nod in reply. “Just ask. The only way to find out is by asking.”





	stop making a sound when you talk

**Author's Note:**

> its pride month! james is trans in this! tall big trans men can top too! ur all clowns for only making alex or george trans bc theyre smaller! big top trans men rights!!!!!
> 
> i am trans so im allowed to write this. cishets that write trans fics go die
> 
> this is a gift for everybody lgbt but especially for luke u dumb clown x
> 
>  
> 
> title from marvaal by oij

James wants more.

He can’t help it, not when he gets too unsure of moving past a few touches, heavy petting and kisses that leave them both gasping. But it’s the insecurities he’s had for years before HRT and surgery that stops him, creeping up on him like a second nature he doesn’t want.

Fraser is nice to him – as he should be anyway, but it’s the kind of support that James feels a flush of pride in his chest. Calling him handsome, fingers poking into his facial hair, the hair on his chest. But that’s all a recent development really, since whenever they decided to live together – since friendly banter turned to soft kisses in the dark of their living room.

But James wants more than that. He can’t help it.

He finds out quickly that Fraser does too, evident in the fingers that dig roughly into his shoulders when they kiss, the grind down into James’ lap so slight that he could’ve missed it if he weren’t so hyper aware of everything Fraser does nowadays.

James finds out for himself just how much Fraser wants more one evening, while he’s editing a video on the sofa and Fraser is on his phone with a movie playing in the background.

“James?” Fraser says softly in the silence, filtering through past the sound of his own voice on the video.

He hums in reply, saving his project before closing the lid, placing it on the coffee table so he can pay attention. He knows when Fraser wants to talk properly, not over the top of laptops or while on phones.

“I want to talk about something but–” Fraser sucks in a breath, “But I don’t know how you would feel?”

James considers it being like one of the conversations they’ve had before, where Fraser asks and James answers. But the look on his face tells a different story, hesitant and nervous as he fiddles with his own fingers.

“Yeah?” James mumbles, earning a nod in reply. “Just ask. The only way to find out is by asking.”

Fraser hums at the reasoning and sighs out a noise, leg bouncing slightly against the floor. “I want to...I think about you,” He changes course quickly of his sentence, picking at one of his blunt fingernails and unable to meet James’ eyes. “Like, a lot.”

“Well, I should hope so. I’m your boyfriend, I’d be a bit hurt if you didn’t _think_ of me.” James jokes, and feels relief in his own chest when a smile perks up on the other man’s mouth.

“No, of course I do. But I mean–I think of you a lot. Like when I’m alone.” Fraser admits, cheeks dusting pink at the admission, even if James doesn’t quite understand.

“Right,” James says slowly, “And?”

“ _And_ ,” Fraser continues, glancing over to catch his eye before he looks away again. “I...I want to do more. More than just touching and–and blowjobs.”

James gets it, slowly. He isn’t sure where it’s leading, though, and he nods for his boyfriend to continue. “I want to fuck you,” Fraser rushes out, curling in on himself in his seat. “Or something else, I just–I want you so much, James, it’s fucking insane.”

That makes him swallow, knowing Fraser wants him so desperately, willing to take anything James will give.

“I’m just– I’m trying to be honest about it, and I know you aren’t comfortable with some things, which I’m okay with, but what better way is there to tell you this than to communicate, y’know?” Fraser babbles on, trying to fill the silence that they would be left in otherwise. “And I don’t expect anything from you, ever, I just–I wanted to tell you, I wanted to be honest and–”

“What makes you think I want to?” James cuts through the hurried rambling, making the room fall silent as Fraser stares at him. He’s all tense, shoulders bunched up like a nervous animal, like he’s afraid of saying the wrong thing that’ll spin this conversation out of control.

“You–Well, you don’t have to, obviously.” Fraser says quietly and looks down at his lap, sighing softly as he releases the tension in his shoulders. “I just wanted to be...to be open about it, about what I want, and it’s fine if that’s not what _you_ want–”

“What makes you think I want _you_ to fuck _me_?” James asks, unable to stop the smirk from climbing onto his lips when Fraser starts to sputter out a sentence. “What makes you think I couldn’t fuck you?”

Fraser sits there, silent. It’s like waiting for a bomb to drop on them both, listening for the impending whistle of ruin. But it doesn’t come, it never does. It’s only Fraser’s release of a held-back breath and James’ soft laugh that breaks the silence.

“Sorry, I should’ve, like...asked first. I dunno,” Fraser throws his head back against the sofa, “Sorry. For not asking first.”

“Stop it,” James groans and shuffles a seat closer to his boyfriend, throwing an arm behind his head on the sofa. “You were just a bit silly, weren’t you? Getting too caught in your thoughts.”

Fraser scoffs and rests his head on James’ arm, folding his arms over his chest and hiding his hands in his hoodie sleeves. “I’m not fucking silly, James, what does that even mean–”

James cuts him off for the third time that evening by bringing his hand up to the other man’s jaw, stopping him from saying anything more. There are wide eyes looking up at him, pupils dark and watching as James exhales softly through his nose.

“You’re a silly little boy – aren’t you, Fraser?” James hums, shaking his head almost disappointingly, “Shouldn’t just assume things, should we? Especially when it’s obvious _you_ would be the one shoved down onto my cock, isn’t it?”

Fraser sucks in a breath, swallowing after it. “Yeah,” He nods softly, adjusting his body into James’ side, loosening the grip the hand has on his jaw to lean in further.

“Is that what you want?” James asks him, “You want me to be the one to fuck you open? I could hold you down so easily, Fraser. I can’t believe you ever thought it’d be the other way around when it’s so _obvious_.”

Fraser swallows again. He looks nervous and jittery, eyes darting to look over his face, between his mouth and his eyes. “I–” He starts, pulling back a little, “I need to edit a video.” He blurts out, pulling back and escaping down the hallway to his room.

James grins. He decides he has some purchases to make now, and as soon as he can.

* * *

Fraser doesn’t suspect a thing.

They forget about it pretty quickly, but the atmosphere doesn’t. It’s this tense feeling that lingers heavily whenever they’re alone – even there when they make eye contact around other people actually – and James isn’t sure how long it can last before it breaks.

It’s not hard to find themselves alone, not when they live together.

James’ parcel arrives, and Fraser gets it for him while he’s out, but doesn’t say anything when James takes it to his room to open it.

A part of James suspects Fraser knows. That he somehow saw his tracking page for the package or saw his search history somehow. That he felt what it was in the packaging. That Fraser can read his mind for all the filthy thoughts he’s had about this.

But he doesn’t know. He doesn’t suspect anything is different until they get carried away one evening on James’ bed, the video they were meant to be filming long forgotten and overtaken by lips and teeth, small touches on abdomens and thighs that leave a fire burning in their veins.

Fraser’s hand is on his thigh, using it as leverage to push up into the kiss. James decides there’s no better time to do this than the present – and there’s no point in delaying what he wants so desperately – and reluctantly pulls back from the kiss to gently shove Fraser into the bed.

It looks like it knocks the wind out of him, wide eyes staring up at James, thighs instantly parting without question to accommodate his presence between his legs.

“James,” Fraser breaths, “Fuck, James, I want to just…”

James hums and pushes up the hem of the other man’s hoodie, hands pressing into his hips, his chest, his stomach. “You want what?”

Fraser whines low, words stuck in his throat. James finds himself chuckling at that and supposes he doesn’t mind guiding this along for him. It’s better this way, and he quite likes seeing Fraser beneath him like this, red faced and breathless.

“I’ve got something for us,” James says softly, pulling his hands back to rest on Fraser’s thighs. “For us to try. You want to see what it is?”

Fraser nods instantly, lips parting to release a sigh when James pulls back to dig out the parcel he’d shoved under his bed. The other man looks a mix of curious and nervous propped up on his elbows, watching as James buries his hand in the plastic parcel bag.

It changes when he brings it out though, a soft noise leaving his throat. “Fuck,” Fraser says harshly, “Yes, yes. You don’t even need to ask, honestly.”

James smirks, unable to stop it, pushing aside the bag and placing the harness and the toy beside them on the bed. “I should’ve shown you it sooner if you’re this eager,” He teases, laughing when Fraser kicks at his leg. “You wanna help me into it?” He offers, watching as Fraser’s fingers twist tight in the blanket with a nod.

James finds himself standing beside the bed pretty quickly after, letting Fraser guide the jeans down his legs until he’s locking the harness in place around his hips. He’d tried it on beforehand, making sure to adjust it so it doesn’t slip or fall, shamelessly admiring how it looked in the mirror. Fraser seems to be doing the same right now, even without the toy in place.

“If…” Fraser starts, stopping himself with a bite of his lip. “If you don’t...want me to touch you anywhere, can you…?”

“I’ll let you know,” James tells him, curling his fingers around the boy’s jaw until he’s peering up through his glasses at him. “Just let me take care of _you_ first, yeah?”

Fraser scoffs and his cheeks flush. “This is about you too. I’m not gonna do anything you’re not comfortable with, especially if you don’t want me to, like...touch you.” He looks nervous again, toying with the protective plastic the harness was encased in. “We haven’t exactly done much, so I don’t really know what...you’re okay with.” It makes a flush of affection rise in James’ chest, knowing he has this boy who cares so much.

“It’s fine, Fraser.” James hushes him, tilting his head back up. “Just do as I say ‘nd be a good boy, yeah? Don’t worry your pretty head about it.” The other man nods and reaches over for the toy that attaches to the harness. He gives a look upwards, asking silently, and James nods in reply, letting him slot the toy into place.

“It suits you,” Fraser mumbles, lip coming between his teeth as he sits back on his knees on the bed. “You look...really fucking good.”

James snorts and curls a hand around the toy, bring his other one up to Fraser’s hair and softly threading his fingers through it. “You wanna suck my cock, Fraser?” He asks and watches sadistically as the blush on his cheeks deepen.

“Yeah,” He whines, “Yeah, can I?” Fraser asks – as if he even needs to when James would probably give anything to see the other man sucking him off right now. So he doesn’t speak and guides Fraser’s head closer until he’s in front of his cock, pink lips so temptingly close.

“I’ve never done this before, gotten somebody off like this.” Fraser confesses, eyes drawn to the appendage in front of him. “So tell me if I should do something different.”

“I’ve never had somebody get me off like this, so I wouldn’t worry about it too much, love.” James tells him, drinking in the sight of a nervous smile tilting up on those same pink lips. Fraser is pretty like this, irresistibly so, and he can’t wait to see him look even prettier with his mouth wrapped around him.

James guides his cock between his lips and resonates the groan that Fraser lets out too, tugging lightly on his hair to sink his mouth down further. Perhaps he’s too eager, too impatient to watch this happen, but Fraser doesn’t seem to mind at all. He accepts every tug of his hair and nudge of the dick further into his mouth, humming every time his mouth stretches a bit more on the widening girth of his cock.

“You’re gorgeous,” James sighs, pushing Fraser’s fringe of back from his forehead. “You look so good with your mouth stretched around my cock, love.” He praises, and feels a warm swimming feeling sink into his chest when Fraser’s hand reaches down to palm himself through his sweats.

“Can I fuck you after?” He asks, “You’d look even more gorgeous on your knees for me, letting me fuck you deep until you come on my cock. Can I do that for you?” He earns an instant nod of approval and Fraser pulls back to breath, lips now shiny with spit and hand wrapping around his cock as he pokes out his tongue to the head.

“Lay down for me,” James tells him, a hand gently guiding his shoulders down until he hits the bed fully. He waits for Fraser to shuffle upwards so his legs are up too, bent at the knees. “I’m gonna open you up for me, need to make sure I can fit when I fuck you.”

Fraser groans and leans his head back, reaching over to grasp for the lube they’d dug out of James’ drawer not long after they’d taken out the strap on from the packaging. James shuffles up onto the other boy’s chest, uncapping the lube as Fraser pulls off his sweats and boxers.

There’s the evidence of arousal against the curve of James’ ass; Fraser’s hard already just from sucking off his fake cock, and it sends a wave of heat down James’ chest knowing that.

“Do you want me to do it?” Fraser asks, eyeing the lube in his hands. He takes off his glasses and places them a safe distance away, falling back fully into the bed and resting a hand on James’ thigh.

“No,” James shakes his head, moving upward a bit more so he’s settled more on the other man’s chest. “Let me do it. You just sit there and use your pretty mouth.” He grins when Fraser huffs and mumbles something quietly, poking his tongue out to the head again.

James goes to coat his fingers but pauses when he tries to push up his hoodie sleeve, wondering whether it would be too much to take it off. Fraser’s seen him shirtless before and James knows he wouldn’t mind, but the creeping sense of insecurity hovers over him for a moment.

Fuck it, though, he quickly decides. He paid for the top surgery, so if he wants to be shirtless, then he will be.

He tugs off his hoodie and throws it to the side, finding Fraser watching him with panting, parted lips once it’s off. He guides the cock back between those lips and lets Fraser swallow him down as best he can on his back, while James lubes up his own fingers. He reaches back after two are slicked up, searching blindly between Fraser’s legs until he finds his hole, drinking in the muted gasp that follows.

“A bit more, love.” James says softly, wrapping his spare hand around himself to nudge his hips forward. “You can take a bit more, can’t you?” He coos and smiles down at the boy below him, slowly slipping one finger into him.

Fraser hums an agreeing noise and takes more into his mouth, a groan stuck in his throat when James purposely shoves his finger deep. It doesn’t take long for the boy to adjust to two fingers, loose enough that James is sure he could fuck him now. But James thinks he likes watching Fraser throw his head back into the bed when he rubs his fingers against his prostate, face flushed red and gasping.

“Do you want my cock now?” James asks, pulling his fingers out slowly. Tension falls from the other man’s shoulders, slumping into the bed while James clambers off his chest and between his legs.

“Shit, please fuck me,” Fraser whimpers quietly, letting his legs be parted easily. He lets out a soft moan when James holds both their cocks in one hand, pulsing beneath James’ fingers. “I’ve been thinking of this since you mentioned, fuck.”

“Yeah?” James grins when a smug warmth lights his chest. He likes the thought of effecting Fraser like that – over just a few words of bending him over. “What have you been thinking about, hm?”

James lets Fraser put the condom on him, pouring the lube on the cock and fumbling a little as he spread it over his length. “I thought…” He bites his lip, pausing his hands when James lifts his leg so it’s spread open wider. “I thought about you, while I fingered myself in the shower.”

God, that does something to him. James decides that he needs to be inside this boy as soon as possible, otherwise he would probably rather die.

“Yeah? What’d you think about me?” James asks, just because he wants to hear the words aloud. Fraser’s cheeks deepen again, sighing when James’ cock pushes teasingly against his hole.

“Just you,” Fraser says quietly, biting his lip when James makes the slow push inside him. “You being there with me, opening me up. Thought about this – you fucking me. You were right, I dunno how I ever thought I would be–”

He gets cut off by his own soft noise, pushing back the rest of the way so they’re flush together. James thinks he could get used to this sight; Fraser beneath him, legs spread and chest heaving as his fingers grip the sheets tightly. He thinks he could get addicted to this, and maybe he already is. There isn’t any problems he has with that, James finds.

“Please,” Fraser gasps and pushes back again, “God, please, James.” He sounds so desperate that James instantly gives into his quiet begging, straightening his back to pull out and give a harsh thrust back in. It has an instant effect on the other man, a loud moan escaping him that neither of them expected apparently.

“I told you that you’d look good shoved down on my cock, didn’t I?” James tuts and digs his fingers into Fraser’s hips, “It was always meant to be you like this, Fraser, on your back for me.” He hums softly, fucking into the boy slow enough that he can hear each heavy gasp that leaves him.

It’s impossible not to get hard in his boxers, underneath the harness, and James finds himself grinding into Fraser just for the friction it give against him. They haven’t done too much together, nothing past heavy petting, nothing like this. James has sucked Fraser off, nothing more. Fraser has jerked him off underneath his boxers, nothing more. There’s still that quiet insecurity of what’s between his legs, but James can’t consider that when he’s got Fraser like this.

“You look so good,” James huffs and bends over to kiss over freckled shoulders and to bite into Fraser’s neck, hips grinding up into him. “I can’t get over this, Fraser, fuck.” He feels a hand grasp at his own, fingers twisting just as legs wrap around his waist.

“I love you,” Fraser gasps into his skin, mouth wandering over his neck before bringing their mouths together. It’s soft and affectionate, and James fears he might cry at the confession if it weren’t for the moan Fraser lets out into his mouth.

James hums and says the hushed words back. kissing the boy until he’s pleading for release, pushing back against every thrust and whispering curses against his lips. A hand runs down James’ chest, between their hips. He leans back and watches as Fraser’s hand curls tightly around his own cock, the head wet and twitching whenever his hand stills.

“I want to see you come,” James sighs, gripping onto his thighs and shoving his hips deep, “Wanna see you fucking lose it while my cock is inside you.”

Fraser lets out a sob at that, body nudging against the sheets with each thrust and eyes watering. He’s gorgeous, so pretty beneath James, that he can’t resist leaning back down to kiss the man silly. He gasps and moans and writhes beneath his hands, hissing a curse when he comes over his own fist and stills.

It’s that creeping addiction again seeing him like this, weary and panting, still trying to push back against James’ hips in the aftershocks. James can _definitely_ get used to this, and knows he’ll want to do this again soon – as soon as he can, really.

“I wanna get you off too,” Fraser pants and starts to sit up once James has pulled out. “Anything you want me to do, I’m gonna do.”

There’s that possibility of giving himself over, James thinks, an out that he can take or something he can take advantage of. It’s this pent-up longing in him that crawls up his throat then, so heavy that it’s all he can focus on, insecurity lost in the ocean that James is now standing above, not in.

“Suck me off,” James breathes, barely hesitating to blurt out the words as Fraser helps him undo the harness. “Please.”

“You sure?” Fraser asks, unsure, putting the harness to the side once it’s off. “You don’t...Please tell me if it’s too much?” He looks nervous – not for himself, but for James, knowing that sometimes it can get too much sometimes to be touched below the waist.

“I will,” James nods and lets Fraser urge him back onto his chest, fingers toying with the hem of his boxers. “Just– please, Fraser.”

The other man doesn’t say anything more, even if his expression is still asking while he slowly brings down James’ boxers. The nervousness comes back briefly, flighty in his stomach, but that’s before he sees the heady look Fraser gets when the material is down to his thighs.

“Please,” James pleads again, fingers running through Fraser’s hair. A groan leaves him when Fraser’s rubs his thumb over his head and spreads the slight wetness built, pushing down into the touch.

“You’re getting so big,” Fraser murmurs, “Probably around two inches now, fuck.”

“That’s what a couple years will do to you.” James scoffs, but lets Fraser encourage him to hover closer near his mouth. “Just you wait a few more, I’ll be fucking you properly soon.”

“You _have_ fucked me properly,” Fraser kisses his thigh, hand wandering up to his stomach and then to his hip. “Good and proper too, ‘m gonna feel that for a week.” He grins at the harsh exhale James lets out and brings his mouth to his cock.

Fraser doesn’t try and take over, happy to just use his tongue and let James fuck his mouth. James doesn’t know why he let his anxiety about this get the better of him when it’s probably miles better than just Fraser’s hand; it’s warm and wet and satisfying to watch his cock disappear between Fraser’s lips, to watch the way the other man’s eyes go hazy.

“Fuck,” James hisses when Fraser hums around him, a prickling heat building in his abdomen, spreading through his thighs and melting again under Fraser’s touch. “You’re gonna make me come, sweetheart, fuck.”

Fraser hums again in response, sinking his mouth down his cock and tonguing the head. James does come like that, burying his cock in the other man’s mouth, fingers gripping perhaps too tight on his hair. But he hears no complaints about it, only a wet gasp when he pulls out.

There’s a soft curse beneath him and Fraser wipes his mouth, shiny and wet and pink, eyes blinking blearily up at him. “Please let me do that more often,” He utters, “I’m not gonna be able to keep my hands off you now.”

James snorts and feels the build of a shy smile on his lips, tugging Fraser’s hair one last time before he slumps back on the bed beside him. Even if he’s going to tease the other man for this, he can’t help but agree that this has to be more of a regular occurrence.


End file.
